Living with a balanced heart
When you are on your path of spiritual awakening and are freeing yourself from your old, limiting world-view, but haven't yet found truths of life, there arise doubts in what to believe. While looking for truths, you experience moments, when your heart recognizes something as true. But because of a lack of knowledge and experience, your mind doubts these truths and you sometimes fall back into the old world views. This can happen also when studying the universal laws.
~ There are some aspects of the spiritual laws, which can be challenging to understand and accept for an intellect with average background of a materialistic world-view. ~
These aspects are, for example, the idea that 1) the Universal Consciousness is unconditional Love and loves, takes care of everybody and everything in its Creation 2) that there is no good and evil in the world, but only positive and negative forces, which are expressions of one ultimate Force and which have their specific roles in evolution etc.
What is your reaction, when you hear about these concepts? Do they resonate with you as absolute truth or do you feel an inner resistance? Many people feel the truth of them with their heart, but can't grasp them with their mind and consequently have difficulties to accept these ideas.
Such people usually have meditative or other spiritual experiences where they have felt oneness of All, Divine Love, contact with Universal Consciousness or have some other background, that lets them believe these concepts, but...
...the daily reality of modern life with a lot of difficulties, challenges, negativity etc. confuse people and they sometimes lose trust in their own spiritual experiences. ~
When facing daily challenges of living in a society based on ego-, separateness- and duality-consciousness, the struggles of survival and creating the life you dream of, the negatively colored image of reality presented in mass media etc., it can be hard to believe in overall unity, love, peace, security, perfectness of the world and life. Then the concepts of the universal laws seem unrealistic, fuzzy and dreamy.
When people experience intense and regular suffering, pain, negative emotions and thoughts connected to different negative events and circumstances, they often end up with hurting and closed hearts. People lose hope of living a life according to their heart desires and give up their dreams, highest values, beliefs, wishes and goals.
Consequences of closing the heart
But if you carry pain in your heart and close it for protection from other possible negative experiences, you cut yourself off from the natural energy flow of the Absolute. The closed heart can't receive enough life energy from the Source and fully feel the Divine Love.
~ The negative emotions, feelings and beliefs, which are in the heart, are literally energy blocks, which disturb the energy circulation between you, the Absolute and the world. ~
Following that, one can't receive and enjoy the natural abundance of the universe in various ways - be it beautiful friendships, a true love relationship, harmonious family life, a fulfilling and meaningful job, a lifestyle matching your wishes and needs, material wealth or anything else.
The gifts of the Absolute simply can't reach you, if your heart is filled with negativity towards various aspects of life. By the law of Attraction like attracts like and unhealed negative issues attract only similar events, people and circumstances. When this happens, people see these repeating negative experiences as the confirmation that their existing negative beliefs are true and often close their hearts even more. But the protective shield turns into a jail, because they can't freely exchange and feel love, joy, trust, intimacy etc. anymore.
To avoid the closing of the heart through difficult and painful relationships, it is necessary to remember that there are positive and negative aspects in everybody. Knowing that, you can choose wisely how and when you interact with others. It is important to live with a balanced and not naively open heart. This means to be attentive, conscious in your daily activities and to recognize negative behavior from other people and to set healthy boundaries when it's needed.
A balanced way of living includes also positive self-esteem and a development of the connection with your heart, Higher Self and the Divine Love. This leads to inner fulfillment, which does not depend on other people and outer circumstances. When you lack the connection to your spirit and the Absolute and look towards other people with expectations to fill your inner emptiness, you often get into close relationships too quickly, without really knowing the person and can get hurt soon after. It is important to develop the ability to look at people and life situations objectively and not to project on them your wishes and imagined realities.
Understanding and dealing with negativity
But how can you live with an open heart and not to be hurt by negative experience?
~ An open heart shouldn't be naively open and trust to everybody and everything like a child, but should be wisely balanced. ~
This means to be aware that there are positive and negative forces in the world and that a complete life includes both - positive and negative experiences, which are all perfectly designed for your spiritual development.
This frees yourself from fear of negative experiences, because you understand them as necessary and valuable lessons for your growth. Then you can develop the ability to look at the world with eyes wide open and not to ignore or repress negative aspects of life - be it inner life (emotions, thoughts, feelings) or outer life and the expressions of negativity on the outside (social, economic, political, environmental challenges etc.) The skill to look at the negative objectively comes from discovering the true reasons behind it and through learning lessons from the negative.
Figuring out and dealing with negative emotions, thoughts, beliefs, events and circumstances is an essential life skill to be developed. As children we are often kept away from negative aspects of life, without deeper explanations or practical wise tips for how to understand and react to them. People usually aren't given knowledge about listening to the heart and discovering the way the mind, emotions, thoughts etc. work. Growing up and also facing negative aspects of life, people don't know how to deal with them and often end up with hurting and closed hearts. (For a deeper understanding of this topic I recommend the following article from this site - 8.2 Principle of Challenge and Negativity.)
Letting go of the victim mentality
A further step for living with a balanced heart is to free yourself from the victim mentality. Many people with hurting and closed hearts feel victimized by people, events and circumstances, and see them as the cause of their negative experiences. For example, "bad" parents, other relatives, wife/husband, teachers/education, state administration, criminals, big business corporations and mass media etc.
Victim mentality arises from the habit to view yourself as limited, ruled and controlled by others. This often starts in family with unskilled parents and is strengthened by traditional limiting education systems. Feelings of being victimized are often also intensified by unconscious, egoistic bosses, colleagues later at work, through bureaucratic state administration systems etc. Consequently many people assume that they have to live according to the old disharmonious systems and rules in order to survive in society. They aren't conscious of their true creative power of creating the lives they dream about and lose faith in their ability to influence their personal lives in many aspects and lose hope to make positive changes in the world.
But if you wish full freedom in your life, you have to take full responsibility for creating it. By choosing to be a conscious creator instead of sufferer and powerless tiny part in existing social mechanisms, you can leave feelings of being victimized behind you and acknowledge the precious life lessons the negative situations, things and people have taught to you.
~ Letting go of the victim mentality doesn't mean to ignore the negative aspects of life and the real situation you are finding yourself in. ~
It means to be able to "see through" negative experiences and uncover the lessons in them for your spiritual development. Besides, it includes a conscious choice not to be afraid and demoralized by negative events, not to suffer or close your heart, but to learn and develop and to become wiser and stronger with each challenging event.
Connecting to your Higher Self and the Absolute
The connection to your Higher Self and the Absolute is another important aspect of living with a balanced heart. Many people don't have a conscious, heart-felt connection to their Higher Self and the Divine Love, because they have grown up with materialistic world views. The materialistic world perceptions are based on ego- and separateness-consciousness, where the source of fulfillment and security in life is seen in outer circumstances like a prestige job, material wealth, relationships with other people (lovers, family, parents, friends etc.), etc.
When people are used to base their lives on outer circumstances and other people, they experience stress while running after them or an illusory sense of security, if they achieve what they thought would bring fulfillment, security and peace to them. With an illusory sense of security I mean the fact that you don't own forever the gifts of life like love relationships, family members, a great career, material wealth, etc. Situations can come when you lose something important to you or even the most of it and if that was the core of your life, you feel lost also.
~ But if your life is based on your connection with the Absolute and Divine Love, you are no longer dependent on outer life circumstances and other people. ~
You are filled with the Love from the Absolute and can naturally enjoy sharing the Love with other people, animals, plants, all of nature, spirits, the world and the universe. Then you know that by serving the world and the Absolute and doing the right job meant for you, you will always receive everything necessary for a harmonious and happy life.
You are free from the characteristic fear generated by separateness-consciousness - the fear of having to secure your life, find a job and earn enough to meet your needs, free from doubts about finding your true love etc. And the feelings which come from the connection to Divine Love like inner security, peace, trust, unity and love apply to all facets of life. Because when you are based on the Divine Love and live in harmony with the universal laws, the flow of abundance of the universe fills each aspect of your life naturally.
To reconnect to the Absolute and switch from ego, separateness-consciousness and dependence on other people and outer circumstances as sources for your satisfaction and security, to being firmly based in the Love of the Absolute, can be a difficult adventure and challenge, but that's the way to true and lasting happiness, freedom, a meaningful life and inner fulfillment.
P.s. For further reading connected to this topic I recommend the article "Recognizing and communicating with Universal Consciousness".
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Explore other possible challenges and solutions:
- Doubts if the universal laws are real
- Importance of personal initiative and experience
- Difficulties applying the universal laws in "real life"
- Recognizing and communicating with Universal Consciousness